How Pakistani girls are trained to do just as told, their entire life.

Hello my people,

So I was brought up in a middle class environment by a normal family and very loving parents. I was given everything and anything I wanted. but there was this certain pattern of training that I find myself undergoing and my siblings as well and then I see it happing very commonly among any desi families I was related to and am friends with and slowly I have realised that its the training every girl has to do undergo that all their life for example girls getting prepared to get married and live up to the standards of community.

Girls are told exactly how they should behave in order to achieve the standard of a docile environment, where their opinion is heard but not taken seriously. They would be laughed at if they come up with business ideas or wanting to pursue a serious career, because the most important thing near the parents and community is the MARRAIGE of their daughter, sister or any female related to them.

Girls are told every step of the way that their task and duty in life is to make the family happy, to make and educate their children and anything related to, being at home. Even when the girls do all of these they are still laughed at, because all they do is stay at home and take care of food, home and children and so they shouldn’t give any opinion regarding business or even the politics because how much will a woman know when she is only staying at home.

Girls are taught how to cook and clean since the childhood, which is a good manner to have, whereas in Pakistani culture I don’t see mothers teaching the same thing to their sons, they can go out with friends and stay out late whereas these rules can’t be applied to daughters because that would be just wrong, There is no certain explanation to why the girls are not given the same rights as boys, Now let me be clear, in Islam, the religion that is followed by muslims and most people living in Pakistan, Girls should be getting the same amount of respect and consideration, its the culture that has formed by the people themselves and now its corrupting the whole system.

Now as we have stepped into the 20’s, these things are becoming more outlandish and girls are stepping in and helping community and they running business successfully but even though they have every thing as a western women achieves, they have this thing inside their heads, installed and programmed since their birth, that they need to get married to become entirely successful but WHY????

8 Thoughts

  1. I liked your take on the ingrained training all women receive in Pakistan which is more about the respect of the culture. There are many women out there who have handled both jobs successfully. You yourself have broken away from societies norms by airing your thoughts. I think Pakistani guys suffer a similar fate. There seems to be a general thought in Pakistan that the final chapter of everyone’s life only starts when we you get married. Great article. Well done.

    1. I am soooo 100% agreeing with you. Yes I have seen so many guys going through this , no matter their education and standards, they are suppose to marry someone that has been chosen for them even when there is no compatibility. But see even in that case, women that are being married to such guys suffer more. Because after the guys have listened to their parents and married, it is ‘okay’ for them to have an extra marital affair since he’s been a good boy by listening to his parents and then the girl has to listen to the ‘have patience, he’ll come around’ almost 2..3 years of the marraige. I would like all these to break so guys and girls can have enough mental capacity to do what they want rather than being told what they should do.

  2. Oh my gosh this is so true!!! I’m glad I was born in a family that didn’t place a lot of these expectations on me but culturally and societally, I certainly still felt it!

    1. Exactly that’s the thing. Even if our parents are supportive, they can’t change all the stereotypes that are considered taboo by the society!

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